I don’t know if this assignment should be taken as a compliment or as an insult. Our head honcho at The Kartel went a bit crazy this past Christmas and bought a bunch of random junk off of a Hong Kong site. And one of them was a fabulously cheap knock-off called iSport TV. Suddenly realizing that he didn't want to play it, he handed it over to me to review.

To iSport TV’s credit, if this system had come out in the early 90’s it would’ve been pretty impressive…but then again you could make the same argument for BomberMan: Act Zero.

iSport TV is a fantastically cheap , all inclusive Wii knockoff in a similar category as those awful, generic “console/game bundles” which plug directly into your AV ports. Just how bad could this system? Well for starters, it made our “top 8 most offensive gifts for gamers” list. Since we only glossed over why you should have avoided the gift, we thought it was high time to do the extensive review.

Well where to begin…

Okay let’s just start with the packaging and system’s design, as frankly this truly foreshadowed what was to come. The iSport TV box art is a great indicator of the games “unique” quality level. To the designer’s credit, from afar the pictures of the system and controllers really look like a Wii! Not only that, but the box features a generic chubby kid wearing athletic clothes, ready to play!

Or wait is he really ready to play? Take a second at the kid's hand and BAM, CRAPPY PHOTOSHOP GALORE. The kid isn’t even holding the paddle! Don’t take me wrong, I love stock photography, but seriously guys? At very least, take the extra 5 minutes and do a decent photo editing job.

Box art aside, things didn’t improve after we opened iSport up. The packaging proudly proclaimed 6 individual games, two controllers, a console, and 5 unique attachments; however things didn’t turn out exactly as promised.Upon taking the console and controllers themselves out, I was already terrified of breaking the iSport. The plastic casing felt cheaper and lighter than an old video cassette, and the controllers made uncomfortable rattling sounds at the slightest movement. I’ve played with Wiimote themed gum cases that were better quality. Furthermore, the 6 games promised were in fact all on two, generic cartridges that made Game Boy Classic cartridges look like futuristic technology.

And the 5 attachments? Though the attachments were completely unnecessary, it was still to our amusement that the plastic baseball bat broke instantly at its first swing. Interestingly enough, the other attachments were ping-pong rackets…and tennis rackets. Why not put a golf club? Apparently because we wouldn’t want to confuse the two VERY different racket attachments. 

Surprisingly enough, the games themselves weren’t god awful. I was already impressed that the wireless remotes actually worked and the console could turn on without combusting.  Playing “iSport Ping Pong,” “iSport Baseball” and “iSport Golf” was quite the experience. The commentary in baseball is outright hilarious and was worth a few good laughs. The graphics seemed straight out of an NES game but managed to get the job done.

Amazingly enough the “motion sensor” in the controller did pick up when I swung for baseball, ping pong, and golf, but it quickly became obvious that the remotes only registered basic movement. Angle, tilt, and power were all lost on the remote itself, as both baseball and ping-pong came down to the timing of the swing, while golf actually didn’t require any motion at all (a simple “shake to stop” for a power bar formula) 

With three games down and a little more faith in the iSport, I popped in the second cartridge and was pleasantly surprised with…a blank blue screen. Seriously? I suppose this is iSport’s equivalent of the red ring of death, as a pixilated bar of blue sat stagnant on my television. In desperation, I fell back to old tactics. I took out the cartridge, shook it, and blew in it, but nothing could revive my lost 50% of promised games.

While disappointed, I have to thank iSport TV for letting me escape playing another hour of it. Fortunately for me, I didn’t have to fork over the $50.00 on the machine, but if I did I would have been quite a bit angrier at the defective game. Somehow I seriously doubt the iSport comes with a warranty, or even a phone number/ company to contact about defects. 

Overall, though I did get a little amusement out of the machine, I could never justify $50.00 for such a POS. While the novelty may have been fun for a little, the fact that the iSport costs as much as a new game blows my mind. If you’re a budget minded gamer, definitely save the cash and get a used PS2 or older DS. If you have cash to burn however and want to laugh your ass off with some friends, you may enjoy iSport TV, just make sure you buy lots of alcohol to make the iSport more entertaining. Which also works for job interviews, dating, waiting in line at the DMV, and just about anything else.