Everyone’s been there. Admit it—we’ve all gone to a movie based on a good video game, expecting to be blown away. I mean, we love movies, right? And we love games! Our logic was infallible; the movie should have been golden. But somehow, at the end of the day, we wound up confused, heartbroken and disappointed. The game-movie relationship is a two way street: movies usually make for crappy games and games often make for substandard films. Despite a seemingly perpetual public outcry, film producers still seem entirely oblivious to this well-established fact.

There is a trend in the entertainment industry. Hollywood is pumping out more and more films based on video games, banking on the curiosity and money of the fans those games already secured. With Prince of Persia: Sands of Time already being advertised and a World of Warcraft movie just around the corner, what can we expect to see in the coming years? Film makers have made a habit of preying on games that are so excellent, so well orchestrated in their present state that a movie version would produce a shallow representation, serving only to shame itself in a pretentiously righteous attempt to embody what the game stands for. If film producers can take some of the best gaming franchises, like Mario, Resident Evil, Double Dragon, Street Fighter, Max Payne, Dead or Alive, Doom, Wing Commander, and turn them into crap, then I think there's a lesson to be learned here. In the book world, the Da Vinci Code was an unfortunate casualty to camera-happy producers. It was filled to the brink with philosophical references and notes that the movie failed to note thoroughly. What we’re left with is scholars debating the religion on screen, and that’s not what we paid $10 for. Now back to the gaming world—these are eight titles that have escaped the treatment, but are on the watch list. Pray that Hollywood doesn't get their hands on these franchises and ruin them for you.

Half-Life 2

For its time, this was a damn good game; a real masterpiece of storytelling and game mechanics. Despite the main characters apparent lack of vocal chords, the script of his perpetually doomed entourage more than makes up for it. Throughout the game, there is a keen sense of distress, like you’re part of a world that is slowly crumbling to pieces, delivered through stirring dialog and a decrepit environment that seems to want nothing more than to suck you into the ceiling you at every turn. Right off the bat, a Half Life movie runs into trouble. A film in third person would effectively negate the ominous atmosphere that the game delivers through the camera lens that’s permanently duct taped Dr. Freeman’s forehead. A film in first person would suffer from a bad case of the Cloverfield Motion Sickness Syndrome. It seems that only a game can be entirely in first person without enticing us to taste our lunch for the second time. But let’s not forget, the protagonist is still a mute and about 90% of his human interaction is carried by a crowbar to the face. Not only would this be agonizingly difficult material to work with for a main character, but a faithful version would have to include one or two see-saw physics puzzles to please the fans. All jokes aside, a movie adaptation would stumble over its own depth and inadvertently mock the game in a vain attempt to capture its quintessence.

Starcraft  

Unless you’ve been living on Planet Char for the past ten years, you’re probably familiar with this game. Starcraft is undeniably, one of the best strategy games of the decade, featuring three utterly unique and fundamentally different races that perform in perfect balance with each other. While it certainly boasts an ambitious story, most of the game takes place over the vast, virtual fields of battle.net. With that in mind, a movie version would presumably have only the plot to work with, effectively ignoring the heart of what makes Starcraft, Starcraft. This leaves the movie boiled down to an Alien-esque horror-action title with a string of seemingly arbitrary species shifts. Movies like Starship Troopers 2 are definitive proof that we don’t need any more badass space marines getting slaughtered by an inexplicably violent alien race. A Starcraft movie would be even worse as the only reference to the actual game may come in the form of an omnipotent female voice occasionally informing  us that we don’t have enough minerals.

Shadow of the Colossus

This is definitely one of the more original games out there. Sure, at the wire frames it’s still a clear-cut “boy sacrifices everything to get girl” adventure. But the real meaning of the game goes much deeper than what it initially reveals. The story is extremely simplistic and the dialog is virtually nonexistent, but the effect of the game’s progression and spectacular finale is incredibly profound. Shadow of the Colossus is delivered in a way that cannot be imitated by a movie. As you defeat the colossi, you gain a sense of accomplishment and become even more emotionally invested in the boy’s plight. But in a film, such repetition would seem glaringly redundant. It would overlook the central theme and the impact of the sacrifice would be utterly lost on an audience. Not to mention, more than half of the game is spent exploring the vast world on your trusty steed. There is an enormous difference between being the explorer and watching the exploration occur. I can scarcely imagine a worse punishment than hours of horseback riding video. An audience willingly subjecting itself to such a thing seems rather unlikely.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

Easily one of the best games of 2006, Bethesda’s rendition of a fantasy world captivated thousands with its highly active and rich environment that was so meticulously detailed that a 14th century illuminated manuscript would be jealous. However, there’s nothing particularly outstanding about the story and the main quest is about as typical as it gets. That being said, a good majority of the game lies in the side quests. A movie would be hard pressed to provide a truly faithful representation of Cyrodil and the “colorful” people that inhabit the land. Of course, by “colorful” I mean taken straight from depths of the uncanny valley. And with a user-generated main character, the position of protagonist is up for grabs, potentially placing an arbitrarily predisposed figure in the lead role, immediately alienating viewers to whom the main character might previously have been themselves. All in all, An Oblivion movie would be just another fantasy flick with a generic plot, run of the mill creatures and a “chosen one” protagonist who saves the world yet again from the ever ham-handed clutches of evil. The greatness of the game lay in the fact that it is a game, not a movie. The interactive and open-world nature of Oblivion is intrinsic to the experience and pivotal to its success. It is also something that a film cannot replicate.

Final Fantasy X

This is an incredibly deep, emotional title whose good name has already been spoiled by an awful, plot-hole ridden sequel (Final Fantasy X-2) that reeks of hastily tied loose ends (that were better left alone) in what can best be described as a shoddy attempt to humor those who were left unsatisfied by the ending of the first game. Does FFX really need a crappy movie biting at its heels as well? Not to mention, this is an extremely long game and just about every cutscene and dialog box reveals something important; there is hardly a wasted second in the game’s script. It would be impossible to crunch all of that story and character development into a two-three hour time frame without compromising the integrity. So many details that give the game its personality would have to be stripped away. At the bare bones, you’re left with a story chronicling the adventures of an unlikely fellowship that saves the world from an all-powerful evil being and a forbidden romance between two unnaturally attractive adolescents. Now where have we heard this before?

Mass Effect 

Bioware’s sci-fi epic is an astounding achievement of multi-faceted story-telling and extensive character development with believable consequences for every difficult moral decision that the player makes. Now, unless every member of the audience is given little remotes like the ones on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? And prompted with similar choices, a movie version will never be able to convey that particularly stirring sense of immersion. Once converted and stripped of what makes the Mass Effect exceptional, it loses its character and becomes little more than a Star trek clone. That is not to say that Star Trek was a bad movie, no—a film rendition of Mass Effect wouldn’t be a failure by any means. It would just fall glaringly short of its video game counterpart and the resemblance between the two would be superficial alone. At best, it’ll just be another space drama whose prime distinguishing factor manifests itself in the form of unnaturally long elevator rides. 

Fallout 3

Players traverse through the post-apocalyptic wasteland that is the DC area in a desperate search for their father while fending off ghouls, slavers, raiders and mutants alike. Now this may seem a prime candidate for a movie, and it very well may be, but it would tear the game apart in its endeavor to translate it. Like Oblivion, the majority of Fallout 3 is in the side missions, great pieces of the game that would inevitable have to be cut out—along with the intuitive karma system that makes the game so unique. A movie would have to place a clear-cut personality in the lead role to replace the inconsistency of players who may not make the same choices all the way through. While a movie would still be true to the setting, it is no longer Fallout 3 at this point—just a post-apocalyptic struggle between the forces of order and chaos with an underlying theme of environmental preservation. No one wants to see such an outstandingly brilliant game reduced to such a trite picture.

Grand Theft Auto IV

Let’s be honest, it’s not the story we’re after when we pick up a copy of GTA4, it’s the freedom of being in a virtual sandbox where we can cause massive havoc without the consequences. Want to give traffic the middle finger while you cruise past jams in a stolen vehicle—you got it! Want to beat up hookers and get an instant refund for their mediocre handiwork—all yours! If we wanted a crime-riddled story, we would’ve just rented The Godfather and watched that. Now imagine the wordy mess above as a movie. Not only would society frown upon such a project as a collective heap of unhappy parents, but a movie version would inevitably fall short of the large-scale playground that is Liberty City. This is the reason why sandbox games typically aren't adapted to the big screen, there’s just too much to consider. A film would be overwhelmed by the scope of the city and ultimately be left with a worn-out cops and robbers story that we’ve all heard before; A waste of time and money, if you ask me.